How to Succeed at Crowdfunding—Fast!

Crowdfunding: The 21st century’s online phenomenon that holds the promise of dream fulfillment in ways not ever before possible. It’s an amazing thing! The question I’m always asked is how can I succeed—fast?

Today I’m going to answer that question!

Below I’ve created a checklist that is designed to bypass all those tedious, labor-intensive recommendations those so-called “experts” are constantly spouting and are nothing but a big, fat drag on your time and energy, and that gets in the way of reaching the finish line.

So get out your pencils, lick that lead nib (I don’t know what that’s actually for but I see it all the time in movies and it looks cool. Also, I’m fairly certain it’s not enough to actually poison you but you might want to Wikipedia that first 😉

  1. If you’ve got an idea, just run with it. It’s not necessary to research other campaigns similar to your idea. According to your Aunt Madge, who’s always been a big supporter of yours, no way they’d be as good as yours! And besides, you’re probably not even sure how to do the research, so why waste valuable time on learning? You’ve got money to raise! A business to launch! You feel very confident you can be one of those campaign success stories on the order of the Coolest Cooler.
  2. Don’t be concerned about creating a marketing plan. You creative types like to shoot from the hip, rules be damned.  Just throw that campaign up and see what sticks. If it doesn’t you’ll figure it out as you go.
  3. How should you decide on your funding goal? Same method you used to come up with your Santa wish list when you were a kid in footie PJs. Pull out that trusty pencil and notebook, but now you’re old enough to grab a beer, put on some high-energy music to get your juices going, and go for it. (For example, “Money For Nothing,” by Dire Straits.) No need to create a budget. No need to put any of your own money in the early stages—I mean, that’s why you need to crowdfund, right? Just pick a number out of the hat that sounds good and run with it. Get ready, your ship is about to come in!
  4. I know you’ve heard that a pitch video is necessary. In fact, statistics claim that campaigns raised on average 114% more if they have a video. But those cost money (not to mention time and again, you’re in a hurry), you’re no filmmaker and you hate being on camera. Well, it you’re lucky day! Screw it! You’re a free-spirit and rules are meant to be broken.
  5. Social media has never been your strong suit. Sure you use Facebook to keep up with you ex’s shenanigans, and of course you love to post grumpy cat memes. But other than that you are more than willing to admit that the whole social media thing eludes you. Besides, you’re pretty sure if you build it, they will come!
  6. On the other hand, for those of you who do use social media, remember to just blast out the same message day after day. It’s good to annoy people with your incessant demands for money. That’s the best way to be effective. If fact you’re fairly sure you even read that somewhere.
  7. It’s the 11th hour. Campaign not going as well as you thought? This may be the time to contact one of those crowdfunding experts. Make sure to sound desperate. Use lots of CAPS and exclamation points. Be demanding! No, you can’t wait until next week because the clock is ticking! (Sheesh, I thought these experts were supposed to know their sh*t.) Make sure to try and negotiate the consultant’s fee. Or better yet, ask them to work on a percentage of your take—if you succeed. After all, you can’t be expected to hand over money upfront. They will be rewarded if they pick up your mess and spin gold out of it. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

That’s it! You’re ready to launch your crowdfunding campaign. So pick a platform—anyone will do—and get that campaign up and running. And since there’s no time like the present, launch your campaign today April 1! (AKA April Fool’s Day.) _DSC5462

Photo credit: GaborfromHungary from morguefile.com